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Translator: Barnnn
Editor: Silavin
Stephanie found herself spiraling into an abyss of doubt and confusion.
When had HE first begun to notice her? No matter how heavy her burdens became, his gaze had always found her. Just a simple exchange of greetings, those fleeting moments in the morning and evening, had once been enough to fill her heart with warmth and contentment.
“Is this the world’s way of saying I’m inferior to this fool?”
When had he started looking at others? Lorena, Eunice, Korinna, Amy, and now Kisaragi — all of them had captured his attention. The mere sight of him conversing with anyone else drained the joy from her soul.
“This isn’t right, Mister Tsutomu. You’re acting strangely these days. Why? Why won’t you keep your eyes on me? Why… why? Why is this happening?”
When did the man in her room, whose eyes were on her and only her, become so different from the man she would see on Monitors? Each time that cruel reality struck her, her affection for him twisted, warping into something dark and loathsome.
It had all started at the Ealdred Crow Clan House, the day she had received Tsutomu’s praise. From that moment, she had driven herself harder than ever, desperate to earn more of his approval. But Tsutomu’s praise was not hers alone to keep. No matter how much effort she exerted, his acknowledgment always seemed to elude her.
Initially, she had convinced herself that he was pushing her, challenging her to grow stronger. But as the days passed, that thought became a suffocating weight, pressing down on her. And then, during the chaos of the Stampede, she had seen it — his supposed favoritism toward Eunice. And now, the sight of him gently helping Kisaragi to her feet, was the final straw.
Kisaragi’s level and competency as a Healer were clearly beneath Stephanie’s. Her appearance was plain at best. She was inferior in every way, yet Tsutomu touched her.
“Ah… AAAGH!! AAAAAAHHH!!”
Jealousy, raw and corrosive, consumed Stephanie. Her mouth twisted open in a scream as she bit down hard on her own fingers, as if trying to sever them right off. Drool dripped down her pale, trembling hands, mingling with the hot tears that streamed relentlessly from her eyes.
Her emotions had curdled into a dark, viscous jealousy, so potent it seemed to ooze from her very pores. The admiration she once felt for Tsutomu had turned inside out, becoming a tidal wave of bitterness that threatened to drown her, suffocating even those around her.
Stephanie’s voice rang out, sharp and desperate, as her skill wisps flared chaotically around her, swirling in erratic, uncontrollable patterns. Blood dripped steadily from her bitten fingers.
“Sir Tsutomu, get behind me!”
Sensing the imminent danger, Daryl acted swiftly, pulling Tsutomu back and positioning himself as a shield. Kisaragi let out a brief, startled cry, instinctively clutching at Tsutomu’s arm for safety, while the surrounding Explorers looked on, their eyes filled with wary caution.
The looks in those eyes — Stephanie knew them all too well. She had seen those same wary glances countless times within the halls of Ealdred Crow. There, she had become somewhat of a figure to be approached with caution, as she delved into God’s Dungeon relentlessly, without rest or respite. In their eyes, she was a solitary figure with no equal — save for Tsutomu. He alone had been the one to stand above her, the beacon she followed.
But understanding from others had never been what she sought. Her gaze had always been locked on Tsutomu. Yet even as she repeated this to herself, the stares of her Clanmates and the presence of those who gathered around Tsutomu gnawed at her resolve. Even Tsutomu himself was becoming a source of frustration. Why did he value them? Why would he not look at her the way HE would in her room?
These thoughts spiraled, twisting within her, and with each turn, Stephanie felt a growing disgust directed inward. How could she, who adored Tsutomu so fiercely, harbor such dark, corrosive feelings? Yet the man who watched over her in her room seemed like a different person entirely from the real one — the one who now stood before her. She could no longer reconcile the two, and it was tearing her apart.
“S-stay back, miss! Please, don’t come any closer!” Daryl’s voice trembled, his fear palpable as he tried to contain the whirlwind of emotions that had taken hold of Stephanie. He recoiled slightly, his demeanor a wide-eyed anxiety of someone facing an unpredictable threat. He looked every bit like a loyal puppy, trembling yet determined, trying to protect its bigger brother from a looming predator.
In the midst of the growing tension, Sova, Stephanie’s childhood friend, noticed the commotion and quickly intervened. His hand clamped down on her shoulder, trying to pull her away from the scene.
“What the hell are you doing, Stephanie!? C’mon, we’re leaving! Now!”
For a brief moment, he hesitated, his eyes reflecting a mix of fear and confusion as he grappled with the unfamiliar side of Stephanie that had surfaced. But despite his hesitation, he was physically stronger, and that strength prevailed.
“AAAHHHHHH!?”
Stephanie’s scream pierced the air as Sova pulled her away, her eyes desperately locking onto Tsutomu’s. Her cry was wild — completely unrestrained. She searched his face for a reaction, and all she saw was shock, the same stunned disbelief that had spread across the faces of the others.
“Why!? I…! I’m your greatest admirer! Mister Tsutomu! Why!? Mister Tsutomu, Mister Tsutomu, Mister Tsutomu!? Why!? WHYYYYYY!?”
Her voice, cracked and frayed from the strain, echoed through the Guild’s halls as Sova dragged her further away. The onlookers, including Tsutomu himself, stood frozen in place, their eyes wide with discomfort and disbelief.
▽▽
The following day, the results of Ealdred Crow’s assessment program were announced. Stephanie retained her position on Team 1, her status as one of the top Healers unchanged. Meanwhile, Kisaragi, who had shown promise, was offered a promotion to Team 2. However, to the surprise of many, Kisaragi declined the advancement. Instead, she chose to step away from her duties, opting to return to her family home for a break. The Clan, fortunately, assured her a stipend, ensuring she would not have to worry about financial burdens during her time away.
Tsutomu, who had witnessed Stephanie’s dark side firsthand for the first time, scanned the newspaper as he sat at the breakfast table. He let out a long sigh as his eyes caught on to an article that lightly touched on the previous day’s commotion.
[How the hell did THAT happen?]
The newspaper hinted that the disturbance might have been a lover’s quarrel, which drew yet another sigh from Tsutomu. He had always sensed something off about Stephanie lately, but he had never imagined that things had deteriorated to such an extent.
[Seriously, what happened to her? She kept shouting my name like I was supposed to understand… but I don’t even know what she was talking about…]
Unbeknownst to Tsutomu, Stephanie had been driven to the brink by the pressures of her rigorous Healer training, her admiration for him warping into something darker — something obsessive. In her mind, she had come to believe that he had saved her, and that belief had spiraled into expectations he had no way of knowing.
[And the way she bit her own fingers until they bled… man, that was seriously messed up. Creepy as hell.]
Tsutomu had encountered his share of troubled individuals during his time playing Live Dungeon, including those who posted disturbing images of self-harm on social media. But never before had he been confronted with a woman screaming his name while borderline mutilating herself right in front of him. Even with his experience in dealing with difficult situations, Stephanie’s display had left him thoroughly shaken.
[I’d like to believe that she can take care of herself. Stephanie’s got potential — she’s always been so eager to learn. If she keeps it up, she could even surpass me as a Healer someday. But seeing her like that… it’s hard to just leave her alone.]
Despite the unsettling madness he had witnessed, Tsutomu found himself reluctant to distance himself from Stephanie. He did not fully understand what had pushed her to such a desperate state, but he knew that somehow, whether through action or inaction, he had played a role in it. Stephanie was one of the few Healers who could match his skill — her dedication to mastering God’s Dungeon was unparalleled, save perhaps for Lorena, whose unique approach set her apart.
Tsutomu had learned, through his time with Live Dungeon, the dangers of getting too close to those struggling with deep emotional issues. But Stephanie was different — she had been his student; the connection made it so that he couldn’t bring himself to heed his own advice. He was directly involved, and that gave him a glimmer of hope that maybe, just maybe, there was still something he could do.
[I’ll have to talk to Rook about it. But not just yet. I have my own things to do — it’ll have to wait until I get a bit more breathing room.]
Tsutomu’s primary focus remained on conquering God’s Dungeon. He was determined to stay ahead of every other Clan in terms of layer progress by the time he cleared the ninetieth layer. Stephanie’s situation, troubling as it was, would have to take a backseat. He would address it when the time was right. Until then, his energy would be channeled toward the highest priority — conquering the hundredth layer as soon as possible.
Ealdred Crow, having completed their assessments, was already set to resume work in full force starting today. Silver Beast, too, was making significant strides in their own campaign through God’s Dungeon. The competition was fierce; there was no time to lose.
The living room around him was still and silent, the Clan members yet to awaken. From the kitchen, the familiar and comforting scent of breakfast being prepared by Ollie and her apprentice wafted through the air, stirring Tsutomu from his thoughts and pulling him fully into wakefulness.
[Now then… who should I team up with for layer eighty-one?]
Tsutomu set aside the newspaper and his lingering thoughts of yesterday’s commotion. Leaning back on the sofa, he began to strategize, his mind shifting gears to the challenges that lay ahead.
