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Translator: Xini
Proofreader: Silavin
*This side story was written to commemorate reaching the 100th chapter milestone. It is neither related nor has any relevance to the original plot.
The characters may act different from their usual selves. Reader discretion is advised.
Feel free to skip the chapter as it will not affect your overall reading experience.
“Hohoho! What fine weather we’re enjoying yet again!”
I spit out the coffee I was about to gulp down.
I woke up early and as the weather seemed a bit nippy, I decided to sit back and relax with a cup of coffee when I was abruptly thrown into a conundrum.
“Lady Violet? What’s gotten into you all of a sudden? You’re acting like a cliche rich girl which ironically has become rather rare lately since every single novel seems to be about your run-of-the-mill villainesses? Also, what’s with your hairstyle? Ringlets?”
That’s right, Lady Violet suddenly greeted(?) me like those young ladies from rich families.
Even her attire was unlike her usual simple style but flamboyant like she was dressed for a party. To top it off, her hair was also made up in ringlets. And frankly, it didn’t suit her.
“Come now, why would you say that? I’m the same as ever. I’d say it’s you that’s acting strange, Mr. Clo.”
“I… I see. Did you just call me, Mr. Clo…?”
“Well then, I’m off to ridicule plebeians diligently dirtying their hands working the land everyday !”
“That’s not a nice way to pass time, is it?!”
“Cease your insolence. A hinterland like this beneath me. I should’ve been in the capital waltzing with His Highness as his Empress!”
“True. I apologize…”
Huh, what’s up with her today? Is she having mood swings? Or trying to act hot and cold?
Leaving me befuddled, Lady Violet(?) laughed heartily.
Did all the stress get to her? I was trying my darndest to make sense of the situation and wondered what Gray was up to when all of this chaos was unfolding and inquired as to the same.
“Well, you know that boy should be coming back home any moment now. He’s probably had a fun night out with some girl in town.”
“Not Gray?!”
Surely she doesn’t mean that Gray who unconsciously avoids anything to do with sex due to his past with the ex-Lord of Shiki is out being a philanderer? What in hell is happening? And judging from how she put it, this doesn’t seem like the first time either.
Personally, I’m all for Gray getting along with the fairer sex but I don’t want him to live like a lecher.
“Seeing how he’s chasing after every skirt in town, I wouldn’t be surprised if I became a grandmother at such a young age, for crying out loud.”
“You don’t say… umm, if you don’t mind. I just realized I’ve got an errand to run. Would it be alright if I accompanied you out?”
“Sure, that’s fine by me. I shall honor you with the duty of shining light on my brilliance.”
“Al-Alright. I look forward to it.”
◆
“Ye shall p-pray to God! Ye shall receive God’s protection only if you submit and revere Him! Ye whose feelings (pocket) of reverence is stronger (is deep) shall be looked down on with benevolence. Come along, ye lambs who wish for their sins to be pardoned, make your donations here…”
“Cyan’s wearing the normal and chaste nun’s habit and yet is acting like a money-monger…?!”
Curious, I walked into the church to find Cyan around a gaggle of devotees, exuding a miraculous halo around her, indulging in unscrupulous activities. Also, is it just me or are there a lot of men around her?
Usually she’d say something like, ‘Be it money or garbage, the more there is, the more it stinks’ or ‘You’re right. A God who does nothing but watch over his children is not going to lead us unto salvation. We can simply pray to convey our gratitude for the blessings received and not for salvation.’ But now she was busy diligently collecting donations from everyone. I can’t say I like this Cyan.
“Priest Snow White? He embarked on a journey in search of people stronger than him. He also said like hell he’d play the role of a priest who guides lost lambs.”
“Which fighting game did he pop out of?”
I inquired why the priest didn’t stay put for which she replied that he left for foreign lands in search of strength as his muscles are all he can trust.
The same priest who used to say that the devotees’ word of gratitude was all he needed in return for helping them, apparently stated that helping others was of no use to him.
“N-Nooooooooo!! B-Blood! Don’t show me your wounds, pleaseeeeee!”
“Why did you even become a doctor?!”
Ivory who used to find wounds stimulating was trembling in fear at the mere sight of them. Granted his excitement wasn’t normal in the least, but this Ivory is so averse to seeing wounds that it begs the question why he even remains a doctor.
“Oh, Clo! Would you care to aid me in my experiment this fine day?! As it happens I need to sacrifice someone in this ritual that allows an angel to descend to earth! So I beg of you to die!
“Huh? Who’s this refreshing, handsome lad who has no qualms making outrageous demands?”
“How could you not recognize me? It’s Orchid.”
“What?!”
That scary-looking, nice, black magic practitioner had become a white magic practitioner whose outward appearance was the only nice thing about him.
He had this to say about sacrifices before. ‘Any kind of results you obtain upon offering sacrifices carries little to no merit.’Such a righteous Orchid was casually saying awful things to others. On that note… this is the first time I’ve actually seen his face. Ordinarily he had this dark aura enveloping his face making his features blurry.
“Hey, Clo! What.A.Fine.Day, Eh?”
“Eek?! Is that you Robot?! Why are you naked? What happened to your burn scars and curse marks?!”
“Burns? Curse? Haha, what nonsense. Why would there be burn scars or curse marks on my beautiful body?! Also, what’s a robot?”
“That’s right. Ms. Blonde happens to be a pervert who likes to show off her beautiful body.”
Robot, no… Blonde had turned into an exhibitionist.
She used to be afraid of showing her face or body but she had become a pervert like Ms. Schwarz. I realized this back then with Ms. Schwarz but when someone shows off their body so brazenly, it loses its value in more ways than one.
“Hear me out, lad. Women hit the sweet spot after 80. Any younger, they are nothing but raw material like steel that is molded into a knife.”
“By the way, what do you think about people who like little boys?”
“People are free to do as they please, but I wouldn’t want to associate with them.”
Mr. Bligh’s personality remained the same but his preference had changed.
In a way, I might like this version of him better? No wait, he’d still be a strange, somber middle-aged man with the hots for old grandmothers. He gives off the feeling he’d start making a knife that ages with time any moment.
“You see, I want to become a florist when I grow up. Maybe if I fill the house with pretty flowers then my daddy and mommy will come see me?”
“Maybe. Hang in there, Apricot. I’ll be cheering for you.”
“Okay. Thank you, big brother Clo.”
I petted a cute almost doll-like Apricot dressed in goth loli style and she gave a goofy smile looking all shy.
The Apricot I know would have her parents eat a spell the minute they came to meet her but practically none of her aggressiveness remained. That said, I still don’t think she should be raising rafflesia or mandrake.
“Hey, Lord. Eat this mushroom! It looks poisonous but I don’t know its effects. So I want you to eat it first so I can take notes.”
“In your dreams, you jerk!”
Emerald had become a dangerous character who tried to experiment on others by feeding them poison.
Of course nothing good can be said about her habit of experimenting on herself, but it’s a lot more horrific when she does the same to others. I feel like she’d take her time slowly taking notes of all the effects the poison has on the victim’s body as it slowly spreads through their system and they inch closer towards death.
“Hah! What a thing to say, Clo! Men and women shouldn’t casually sleep around. Rather they ought to pledge their vows to a special someone and only make love with them.”
“Huh, I think I like you better this way, Khaki.”
Yeah. I think it’s better if the lustful demon remains chaste.
“Dammit. What the hell is happening…?!”
“I should be asking what’s the matter with you, Mr. Clo. Shiki is the same as it’s always been.”
I don’t like this Shiki.
Lord knows I’ve faced a lot of issues with the Shiki I’m familiar with, but I don’t think I’d be able to govern this Shiki.
A pampered bride with ringlets who likes to laugh at others. A son who’s a womanizer at age eleven. A nun who is obsessed with money and sex. A priest who abandons his duties in pursuit of physical strength. A doctor who is excited(afraid) at the sight of blood. A white(evil) mage. A blonde beauty who likes strutting around naked. A blacksmith who likes his women old. A girl who has innocent or rather dangerous dreams of becoming a florist. An apothecary who likes to conduct human experiments. A sensible lustful demon.
Maybe these guys were actually decent before…?! That said, which of these two versions should I consider normal? Maybe I’m just misremembering things and I’m the odd one out in this world.
“Or wait, am I dreaming…?”
That’s right, I must be dreaming. Nothing else explains this situation. Maybe I was reincarnated(transmigrated?) in(to) a parallel world, or this is a dream. It has to be.
“Why do you look so out of it? For goodness sake, you’re hopeless. Why don’t you try to carry yourself more like a noble–”
“Alright. Let’s part ways here. The top of the church should be high enough.”
“Wai- Mr. Clo?! Where are you going?!”
I ignored a frozen Lady Violet and ran towards the church.
A pinch is too mild. I need a much stronger shock to wake up from this dream.
Plunging down from the church spire should do the trick!
“Oh, ■■■ ? Where are you headed off to?”
“What? ■■■■■■■■■? Why are you here?”
“What do you mean why? Of course I’m here because I’m ■■■’s ■■■. More importantly, what’s with the honorifics?”
Her voice is all muffled for some reason. What’s happening here?
Is the dream collapsing because I’m waking up?
“Not to mention I was ■■■’s ■■■. I escaped here before I got roped into some mess or the other.”
“Huh, what do you mean ■■■…?”
“Hmm? Are you half-asleep? Then, come closer. I’ll help you wake right up–”
◆
“…Clo! Lord Clo!”
“AH!”
I opened my eyes to the ceiling of the inn we were staying at in the capital. I suppose I was caught in a hellish nightmare.
At my side were Lady Violet, Gray and Cyan, all looking at me with concern etched on their faces.
“Are you okay? I heard you groaning all the way over in my room.”
“Yeah, we were worried. So I came with Io to check on you.”
Apparently, Gray from the room next door and Cyan in another room next to mine, who Lady Violet was sharing the space with, had heard my anguished cries.
“Phew. So it was just a dream.”
“A dream? Did the stress of being in the capital get to you…?”
“Oh, no, I’m fine. That’s probably got nothing to do with this.”
“Well, if you say so…”
“No, really. I’m fine. I’m sorry, I’ll work harder. I’ll do my best to be more reliable so Lady Violet will never have to wear ringlets!”
“Lord Clo, please calm down. You’re not making any sense.”
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